


all the winters

by donsdoie



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, But just a smidgen, Established Relationship, M/M, Meet-Cute, No Plot/Plotless, Self-Indulgent, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, good luck understanding the timeline lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-21
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-25 07:00:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20720018
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/donsdoie/pseuds/donsdoie
Summary: Doyoung has loved Jaehyun for three winters now.





	all the winters

**Author's Note:**

> this is mediocre at best. i'm so sorry.
> 
> i listened to a lot of saylor twifts (mostly 'you are in love' and 'lover') while writing this so it's heavily influenced by her songs.
> 
> unbeta-d.

In all of Doyoung's 26 years on our good earth, he has never met anyone quite like—

"Jung Jaehyun," the boy had introduced himself to a 23-year-old Doyoung one spring night when he was in his favorite bar, two blocks down his apartment, and had asked him about the book he was reading. Yes, a book. Doyoung discovered that reading in a bar, surrounded by tipsy people and mind-numbing background chatter, had a more calming effect compared to staying within the confines of his empty room.

Doyoung who was focused on his book mere seconds ago looked up to find a pale hand in front of his face, veins trailing back to toned biceps, belonging to the most beautiful human being he had ever chanced upon. It took one look, a hesitant introductory handshake, rather hopeful smiles on both their faces and Jaehyun was claiming the seat to his right.

They spent that evening talking as if they had known each other for ten years and not ten minutes, time moving a bit too fast as the night deepened and the gap between them ceased to exist.

Doyoung couldn't help but wish he could play it back.

》》》

The same Jaehyun who is now circling his arms around Doyoung's too-bony waist three years later, give or take, leaving a chaste kiss on his right shoulder from behind. Doyoung hums to himself, content.

He had been staring out the balcony since waking up at dawn, leaving Jaehyun who roused fifteen minutes after him ("I can't sleep well if I don't feel your body close to mine") to tinker about in the kitchen. Just another day in the Jung-Kim household.

A few more seconds of this and Doyoung feels like he's going to drop dead (he's a drama queen like that) if he doesn't get a glimpse of his boyfriend's face in the next moment. Tugging on the other's arms to loosen them, he turns around and faces who he's sure is someone the deities created with Doyoung in mind; his soulmate.

"Hi," he puffs out, breath fogging due to the early winter morning. Instead of replying, Jaehyun just lifts both of Doyoung's hands to his peach-flushed face, rubbing and breathing into them, ineffectively heating Doyoung's frozen fingers (it's the thought that counts).

"Hey, yourself," Jaehyun smiles lazily with his eyes closed, voice groggy from lack of use, "Breakfast is ready."

《《《

They didn't start dating right off the bat. After some small talk and lighthearted jokes that evening, they deemed each other's company too pure, too easy, too everything to consider tainting it with something as temporary as one night of pleasure (although it had been very tempting for both parties).

So Doyoung gave Jaehyun his number when the latter asked for it, following an entire night of good conversation. He allowed them to become friends first, or whatever it was that they were back then, choosing not to put a label on what they had going on.

What they chose, instead, were midnight coffee rendezvous when the world permitted them a few hours of freedom from the hustle and bustle that came with full-time jobs. They chose mid afternoon drives with the windows down to a nearby beach or hillside, singing along to songs from their shared playlist at the top of their lungs, still managing to blend perfectly. They chose Saturday brunches, seated beside each other, shoulders brushing as they laugh about anything and everything. They chose sweet _good morning, have a great day, thinking of you _texts and drowsy _good night, my day is now complete because I got to hear your voice _phone calls. They chose Friday night-ins, reading books on Jaehyun's foldable couch, an upgrade from Doyoung's regular spot in the bar where they first met.

This in-between set up lasted for a whole season.

But something had always been there, even from the get go.

Doyoung could hear it especially in the comfortable silences of Jaehyun's living room, when they're both cuddled up and Jaehyun's reading a book he had recommended (Jaehyun who had admittedly never willingly opened a book in his life prior to meeting Doyoung).

》》》

They go back inside, not a minute later, with Doyoung constantly shuffling closer to Jaehyun and just enjoying the heat that the younger radiates off of him. Jaehyun sits him down on one chair in their minuscule dining room slash kitchenette and then motions to go, but before Jaehyun can successfully move to the other side of the table, Doyoung makes a grab for him, "No, don't go."

Jaehyun chuckles at his antics, "What? I'm just going to take a seat."

He arranges his face to form a pout that he knows Jaehyun will not be able to resist, "Nooo, too far."

And Jaehyun finally understands, like he always does when Doyoung wants something but won't actually use words to say what it is exactly. Jaehyun kisses his nose before reaching over for the other chair, dragging it closer and setting it beside him.

"Close enough?" Jaehyun jests, sitting on the controversial chair.

_No, never close enough_ is what Doyoung wants to reply but seeing as how he can't be bothered to open his mouth, he merely scooches closer to Jaehyun, making himself comfortable on the boy's lap, legs dangling in the space he left abandoned. Finally satisfied with their proximity, he scrunches his nose, "Yes."

Jaehyun laughs once more before pulling Doyoung in for a toe-curling kiss.

《《《

The people around them were bound to start asking questions, so Doyoung's not sure why he was still surprised when his co-worker cornered him that bright summer day before he was set to pick Jaehyun up from the younger's office three stoplights away.

"So, I've been seeing the sexiest man alive hovering around the past couple of months. Mind sharing who the sex god is?" Johnny taunts from across their shared cubicle. It was five minutes to lunch and Doyoung had been tapping his fingers rhythmically on his work desk, impatiently waiting for the exact second he'd be allowed to endure the heat of the blaring sun for a quick lunch not-date with his not-boyfriend.

"Who?" Doyoung distractedly asked.

"Tall, fair skin, curly brunette hair, dress shirts that fit him too well, arm veins for days," Johnny pauses in suspense, "Dimples."

Hook, line and sinker. He had Doyoung's undivided attention.

Doyoung narrowed his eyes at the playful smirk on his co-worker's face, "Don't you dare say a word." He was out his seat and the door in a split-second, the clock striking twelve noon. Although he couldn't help but pivot on his heel, pop his head back inside just enough to declare, "And for your information, Jaehyun is more than his looks," slamming the door in his wake. It felt good to remind people that.

Brisk walking to Jaehyun's architectural firm, his ears ringing from Johnny's mocking laughter and innocent words, Doyoung utilized the time to mull over his current situation. He had been having the time of his life in Jaehyun's company, that he was sure of. And he wasn't being pressured by the other to put a label on things either. So why was he so perturbed?

Before he knew it, he was in front of Jaehyun's downtown office, texts still remaining unanswered. He took a deep breath before going in the sleek building, welcoming the comfort the air-conditioned space provided. Doyoung didn't stop at the reception, all too familiar with the floor layout since Jaehyun had already given him a tour of the ground level a couple of nights ago when Doyoung had also picked him up for pancakes after another late-night at work. Stopping outside the younger's door, he knocked softly. There was no answer.

Doyoung summoned the last of his confidence and opened the door to-

No one.

Maybe Jaehyun was still stuck in a last-minute meeting. The boy did tell him that things at work had been hectic for weeks now. Walking further inside, Doyoung remembered requesting for a mini tour of his modest office to which Jaehyun had turned down because it was almost midnight then and he was starving.

Figuring that now was as good a time as any to look around the well-kept room, Doyoung strolls about, committing to memory the office that was an obvious reflection of Jaehyun's personality: there were the symmetrically arranged diploma and certificates hanging on one wall; the scattered indoor plants that gave color to the otherwise monochromatic area; a couple of more personal memorabilia were sitting atop the shelves like the interdepartmental basketball trophy (champions, it read) and most of the books Doyoung lent him; and on Jaehyun's mahogany desk were two picture frames perched on opposite corners.

Doyoung bent down for a closer inspection. The one nearest him held a worn out picture of two adults, presumably Jaehyun's parents (he made a mental note to thank them for the good genes if he ever got around to meeting them), a regal-looking older lady with the warmest smile Doyoung had ever seen and on her lap sat the cutest little boy, all bright eyes and innocence. Little Jaehyunnie. Doyoung could swear his heart did a little flip.

After taking a picture of the young Jaehyun using his phone, Doyoung swept his eyes to the other corner of the flat surface and-

Oh.

So Doyoung's heart might done another flip, if a bit harder than earlier.

Because there on the other side of the desk, adjacent to the picture of Jaehyun's family, was a framed picture of Doyoung: candid, gummy smile, wanton. He could clearly recall the day it was taken (one of their spontaneous road trips to an outlook with a great view of their city where Jaehyun had draped a jacket over Doyoung's teeth-chattering self, the jacket that was still hanging on top of his vanity's chair, still smelling faintly of Jaehyun) but he wasn't aware the boy had been taking pictures.

And now he's assured.

He's never been surer of anyone as much as he was with Jaehyun.

》》》

Breakfast has long been consumed, only crumbs left on the plates and their empty coffee mugs deserted on the dining table in front of them. Doyoung, in his boxers and one of Jaehyun's oversized hoodies, is still occupying the latter's lap, straddling him this time. Toying with the hem of the blue sweater Jaehyun is donning, he slips a cold hand inside and grazes the younger's sides with feather-like strokes. Jaehyun whines, "Cold."

Smiling into the kiss, Doyoung nibbles on Jaehyun's lower lip before pulling away, Jaehyun surging forward to chase after him. Whining once more, the boy sulks, "I said cold. Not stop."

"My legs are starting to feel numb, you buffoon," with nimble fingers, he grasps on a handful of Jaehyun's hair and yanks firmly. Because he knows Jaehyun's body like his own, because he's a little tease, and because he can, Doyoung swoops closer to his right ear, biting the earlobe and tugging harder on the hair he was holding onto. Whines evolving to groans. He can feel Jaehyun's hands on his thighs, inching closer to where he really wants them to be.

Wasting no time, Jaehyun moves to wrap Doyoung's legs securely around him, grinding up a bit, and then proceeds to hoist him up without so much as a grunt. He carries him to their bedroom, dropping Doyoung unceremoniously on the bed. Doyoung sits up, excited for what's to come. See, this is why he enjoys riling up and teasing his boyfriend so much. The end justifies the means in this situation.

Jaehyun looks at him with a gleam in his eyes - aroused, amused and enamoured - before lifting his sweater up and off his (gorgeous) body. Doyoung can only lick his lips in anticipation.

《《《

It was a weekend when things fell apart.

Any other time, Doyoung would have enjoyed Jaehyun's company and relished in the attention, the arm around his shoulders, the never ending stream of things to talk about. But he had been feeling extra stressed at work lately and antsy from the dawning realization that Jaehyun was still not his boyfriend and they're not together so if the boy happened to meet someone better and more good looking and more, more, more in every aspect Doyoung was not, not, not, then he wouldn't have any right to be mad and-

"Doyoungie?" Jaehyun called out from beside him. They spent that whole afternoon walking around aimlessly, indulging themselves in the pre-autumn breeze. "Are you okay?" It was nearing dusk now.

He halted in his steps to look at Jaehyun properly and he kinda wished he hadn't because damn was the view magnificent. Jaehyun was looking at him expectantly, looking at him with so much emotion and joy and Doyoung couldn't do this anymore,

"I think we should stop seeing each other."

The emotion on Jaehyun's face morphed into one of confusion and maybe slight panic, "What?" Breathless.

"I-I don't want to do this anymore." _Doyoung, why?_

Hurt, "What does that even mean? What do you mean?"

"Jaehyun, I don't- I can't do this anymore." _Doyoung, stop._

Defeated, "If... If that's what you want," Jaehyun turned to walk away. To the wrong direction.

"I'm sorry," Doyoung whispered to no one.

But it was also that same weekend when it all fell back together.

"Kim Doyoung!" someone screamed from across the street, exactly ten hours since Doyoung ended what could have possibly been the best thing to ever happen to him. He was just about to do another lap around the neighborhood - the only time he ever did voluntary physical exercise was when he's mad, sad, or a combination of both - but his name shouted out in anguish effectively stopped him in his tracks.

Jaehyun, dressed in faded grey jogging pants, a ratty old university shirt and mismatched slippers, crossed the road and ran up to him. Still breathless.

"Why?" He cried out, "The least I deserve is to know why you want nothing to do with me anymore."

Jaehyun wasn't supposed to look so broken over him, he wasn't supposed to be asking him such difficult questions in the middle of the street, he wasn't supposed to care,

"Because I like you so fucking much. Too much." _Doyoung, please._

That caught the younger boy off guard, angry expression turning to bewilderment, "And you think I don't?"

"You don't like me enough. You don't like me the way I like you." _Doyoung, no._

Frustration, "Bullshit. How can you say that? I like you. I like you so much that it hurts to think or breathe or function sometimes. I like-"

"Then why aren't we together?!" _Doyoung._

Realization, "I didn't want to rush you. I-" Jaehyun gave up on using words. He merely climbed up the sidewalk, closed the distance and kissed him senseless.

"I'm sorry," Doyoung whispered to Jaehyun's plush, red lips after a while. Kissed out and gasping for air, "For being difficult."

"Just talk to me next time, please," Jaehyun cupped both his cheeks, wiping the tears away, raw voice continuing, "Please, please, _please_ don't scare me like that again. I don't think I'd be able to take it." Doyoung's answer was to slot his lips against Jaehyun's again, more unspoken apologies, feeling something stronger than just_ like_ tug at his gut.

He felt it on the way home, hands clasped and swinging between them, boyfriends.

》》》

"Jae, fuck, please, I'm so close," Doyoung's naked body shakes in pleasure from underneath his boyfriend, their mattress begging for rest. Jaehyun's also close, he knows. Doyoung clenches hard on the younger's dick that is fucking in and out of him relentlessly, sucking purple blooms on Jaehyun's outstretched neck. "Come with me, Jae," he whimpers.

Jaehyun rewards him with a long groan and a dirty, "So fucking good, always so tight, fuck. _Doie._"

They come at the same time.

《《《

It was still dark out when Doyoung's pulled from his sleep. The arrival of the winter season brought with it the unforgiving cold. Good thing his nights weren't lonely anymore. Speaking of,

"Why are you up so early?" Doyoung mumbled in his sleepy state, laying on his back. He knew the other was awake because he could feel him staring, restless and twitchy. The arm slung on his middle tightened, urging Doyoung to open his eyes. No qualms there because he was met with the most wonderful sight.

The light from the streetlamp outside illuminated Jaehyun's ethereal face, bathing their tangled forms in a soft, orange glow. He still couldn't believe Jaehyun was his and had been his for over four months now. Doyoung went to close his eyes in utter contentment.

"Doie?"

His eyes fluttered open again, shifting his body a bit so he was now fully facing Jaehyun.

Jaehyun who had a strange look on his face. "What is it?" Doyoung asked, moving even closer, making sure no air of space was left between them. Jaehyun tugged his other arm, the one Doyoung's using as a pillow, back to his body. It was probably numb from the weight of his big head.

There was a slight pause as Jaehyun used his now-free hand to play with Doyoung's hair, stroking his bangs away from his face delicately. A glint from Jaehyun's collarbone area caught Doyoung's eye, the dim light reflecting the silver chain and the four seasons pendant (a round-shaped thing holding four objects; a fully bloomed flower for spring, a sun for summer, a barren tree for fall and a snowflake for winter): the necklace he had given Jaehyun last Christmas. Their first Christmas together.

There it was again, the strange look. Doyoung was just about to repeat his question when,

"You're my best friend."

The streetlight flickered off just then, taking with it the security of being able to see and discern people's guises. Since he was young, Doyoung's biggest fear had always been the darkness.

At that very moment though, he felt nothing but-

"I love you, too," because he knew what Jaehyun really meant when he said those words. 

He could see it even with the lights out.

("I'm in love with you, Doie."

"I know. You just said that."

"You understood?"

"Of course, I did. I feel the same way, Jae.")

》》》

Jaehyun comes back from the en suite with a damp washcloth, smiling while he pats and wipes Doyoung clean. Sometimes, it feels as if the boy enjoys aftercare more than him who often needed it. Doyoung sees Jaehyun discard the soiled piece of fabric somewhere and then proceeds to climb back to bed with him. Jaehyun is naturally a clingy and touchy-feely person. Post orgasm Jaehyun? Practically a koala. Doyoung loves it.

He drapes more than half of his body on top of Jaehyun, the other automatically moving to accommodate him, hands caressing Doyoung's exposed back. They stay like that for an eternity and then some, like two figures in a snow globe, enclosed in their own little world.

Doyoung can hear Jaehyun's steady heartbeat thumping against the chest he's resting his head on, "Kim Doyoung?"

"Yes, Jung Jaehyun?"

"I'm gonna ask you to marry me, someday. You're going to say yes, right?"

There were no ifs. It wasn't a hypothetical question.

In all of Doyoung's 26 years on our dying earth, he has never felt so loved and appreciated like he does with Jaehyun. He used to believe that the kind of love in the books he reads and stories he submits for work was too good to be true until he is actually gifted with the chance to feel it himself on a daily basis.

As someone who writes (or at least tries to) about this specific, most curious thing, he thinks that he still hasn't properly captured and put into words what he feels for Jaehyun, what Jaehyun has made him feel since day one. It's impossible when he is always rendered speechless and breathless by the boy.

So, yes. Doyoung has grounds for if he says he has never met anyone quite like Jung Jaehyun.

"Of course, Jae," he tilts his head up to stare at him, adding, "As long as you promise to stop burning the toast."

Doyoung has loved Jaehyun for three winters now, and he knows he'll continue to love him through every winter after this. He wants them all.

**Author's Note:**

> hiii comments and kudos are vv much appreciated. i'm a leo, i need validation oof
> 
> thank you <3


End file.
